An Association of Time Travelers: German learning woes

German learning woes

from 2010...

Oh dear. Complaining again. Please, teachers/textbook writers, these do NOT help me, and probably few others: guessing games (where one gets far too accustomed to wrong answers); gross overgeneralizations (like I just saw a respected textbook say that a verb is "always" in 2nd place -- of course it isn't, and thankfully I saw a good explanation in April Wilson's German grammar); words completely out of context.

What REALLY works for me, and makes me learn very quickly and happily: CAREFULLY CHOSEN words with CONTEXT via lots of reading PRACTICE, building and building on itself. (Surely spoken language would work similarly.) It makes me feel like I'm really learning something and am not in a whirlwind of unknown words. Yeah, I know you know your language, you don't have to show off; you have to allow me to read at least almost every word. I really don't mind if I have a vocabulary list of 150 words per lesson to do that; I want to read something real-ish at least, and read it well. (I need a compromise between the "This is a pencil; this is a green pencil; this is a red pencil" and the "Gobbledy gook Gobbledy gook Gobbledy gook Theonewordyou'vetaughtsofar Gobbledy gook" approaches.) It also really helps if it's laid out/DESIGNED well; I can barely see a couple cheaper German dictionaries I bought ages ago, and not much better my big one; and a book I've tried to use runs all its sentences and columns together in a weird way and it's difficult to see which goes with what -- don't tell me that a language that had such beautiful script decades ago has forgotten design, Germany is known for attractive and practical design. My French textbook does this stuff like PERFECTLY. Wish the same guy's German textbook didn't cost a gazillion dollars/euros because it's out of print and many others agree with me that he's fabulous. I'm beginning to wonder if I need a teacher's edition of some college textbook in order to teach myself.

(A lot of my woes were solved when I finally just went to Germany and found some fabulous learning sources...)

Your Host & General Researcher

My favorite thing to do has always been to time travel -- especially to "everyday" homes and to meet "real" people. I'm fascinated by how they designed their homes, what they ate, what they wore, what they did for fun, what stories they told, etc....

I trained as a classicist, philosopher, and literature specialist, all of which prepared me to visit the past. After stints of being editor-in-chief of several magazines (in Philadelphia, Atlanta, and Chicago), running book lines (in Chicago and New York), being editorial director of a teensy publishing company (in New York), and acting as a college instructor (in Chicago), I came to my senses and followed the interest behind all my pursuits -- history and all its diverse sources. I studied history, archaeology, and art curating at the University of Cambridge and New York University, and ended up living not only in many times but in many places, though now I've settled near my dear children and grandchildren with my beloved brilliant scientist-husband....I spent two decades in real time in various countries researching my largest work, Lifestyles in Early South Asia: A Sourcebook for Time Travelers.

Bon voyage, wherever and whenever you travel!

Welcome to virtually unknown times and places!

Long ago many people lived in many ways in what is now known as South Asia, an area full of fascinating stories, horrifying situations, amazing settlements...but for many centuries their lifestyles have been unknown even to most scholars, making the eras extra dangerous to time travelers. A book has come out that carefully draws on the many hundreds of written sources, artworks, and archaeological sites of this area, to prepare you as well as possible for your own forays into this region -- or simply to give you a very safe armchair time traveling experience.

This site gives you access to this sourcebook, my main work, and also glimpses into its development -- as well as forays into other fascinating times and places!

Chapter 3: 2700-1300 BCE

Mod cons available in this era to time travelers! Well, very sort-of. Visit Harappan-style settlements and check out water drains, fun! and non-DIY showers! and maybe even bathtubs! and definitely furniture!! You may even have a pleasant time sitting out on verandahs.

For entertainment check out their music and games and take tours of multiple-storied buildings! If you're into cryptography, even better, because this time has our first South Asian writing -- very possibly undeciphered! The chapter also includes our first time travelers' curriculum recommendations on language for time travelers' schools' organizers or autodidacts. Unisex Hair Salons at such time travelers' schools will also get very helpful tips. There are also tips that could save your life -- where not to go if you have any unfortunate skin condition, and how to avoid fires and floods.

Features include glimpses at the wide world, 14 illustrations, and 5 editions of The Time Traveler's Daily News with visits to 63 sites including some of South Asia's most famous such as Harappa and Mohenjodaro. There are also 2 bonus excursions, 1 modern-day and the other time-traveling. This chapter also includes our first short story, a romance, in the Northwestern South Asian Travel Reading Section!

46 pages.
Rated PG-13 for conjectured drug use, implied nudity, scatological realism, and intense violence toward the unhealthy and females.

Chapter 4: 1300-600 BCE

Welcome to the earliest known stories in South Asia! Twenty-first-century time travelers tend to feel more comfortable starting with this era, because at last there are (somewhat) useable written sources to give them more background for their travels. At the same time, it's a world already very full of history and other stories known by its inhabitants.

In this chapter you'll learn of (alarming) social institutions with which you'll need to deal, and be warned of possible skirmishes to avoid. But it's not all danger -- you'll visit many homes, including of deities! and if you're staying long you'll learn Vedic housekeeping tips for choosing your household staff, plus various food prep techniques. Of interest to time travel curriculum experts are language recommendations.

Features include 4 illustrations and 7 editions of The Time Traveler's Daily News with visits to 47 sites. The chapter also includes our first menu from a branch of The Time Traveler's Café, our first Time Traveler's Library card catalog, our first 7 Sanskrit little lessons, and our first discussions of implications for home design from certain social institutions. There are also 4 bonus excursions, 2 modern-day, 1 time-traveling, and 1 a combination of both. Most exciting is a short story based on an actual lady's wedding experiences from this era.

By the end of this chapter, we know so much more about ancient South Asia -- but there's so much more to come!

69 pages.
Rated PG-13 for implied sexual assault and other violence especially against women.

Chapter 5: 600-326 BCE

If you consider yourself open-minded, you may especially enjoy this era with its wide variety of surroundings and people who tried to understand others' beliefs. Indeed, the writers of this era show a clearer perception of the many differing human lives, cultures, and perspectives around them, especially in larger settlements. They also seem well aware that they are not composing divinely revealed works, and that there is more than one way to answer various questions about life. Like today, there were many marvelously civilized people carrying on long philosophical and cultural discussions; readers including probably of secular works never found; independents who ignored or rebelled against bullies trying to dictate their lives; students of math and science as they knew it; thinkers who adored natural surroundings; and "merry" people just enjoying life.

You'd better also be brave, though there are tips on avoiding becoming a human sacrifice. There are also tips on the safest undercover professions to assume – and which gender! It can be so difficult in this time for obviously female time travelers that they may want to consult the costuming department for gender disguises at least for visits to certain communities. Useful tips also include how to avoid vipers during your bath and how to avoid starvation in certain areas.

However, expect to at least somewhat enjoy yourself in this era, with professional entertainers including dancers, prize-fighters, and possibly magicians and comedians! You'll also enjoy checking out many details about furniture design and use in this era in northern South Asia, and also ideas on decorating your home and on keeping it, your belongings, and yourself clean. Be sure to brush up on your dish-making skills too if you're visiting in the same area.

It's good to know what to pack as a time traveler; so often in the past it was just a wild guess and hope that you could source appropriate clothing after you got there -- but now we have very helpful details.

Time travel by the literary is especially important starting with this era when writings mention many works lost to us moderns. Time-traveling linguists will enjoy this era, because early Vedic Sanskrits were being forgotten so much already that there was a group teaching that the Vedas' language had no meaning! Economists will be very interested in this era with its first details on currency, taxes, etc. Time-traveling historians of science will be interested to hear of works on "snake science," "the science of demons," astronomy, and "the science of time"! Speaking of time, all time travelers will be interested in this era's study of "chronology" and its belief that a certain sacrifice made up for a murder, even if the murder was done by another in the sacrificer's family in the future! This chapter also includes some details on the division of time here and then.

Note that starting with this chapter, if you haven't read earlier chapters it could be confusing, since I don't really repeat lifestyle details from earlier writings. Also, time travelers may see in ruins what they toured in the last era.

Features include our first edition of The South Asian Times: "Bringing You Old News" re the political and religious history affecting lifestyles; 3 illustrations; and 7 editions of The Time Traveler's Daily News with visits to 22 sites. The chapter also includes a menu from a branch of The Time Traveler's Café and our first recipe!; a nice branch of The Time Traveler's Library, with 24 holdings; and some little Sanskrit lessons. There is a short story featuring a female artisan who saw as an outsider the religious teachings we have from this era.

72 pages.
Rated PG-13 for implied sexual assault including bestiality and incest.

Chapter 6: 326-180 BCE

Travel to our first era for which you can confidently set the year on your time travel machine! Also, society seems easier to picture now for time travelers getting ready for their excursions, not because suddenly the humans became more comprehensible but because the writings speak more clearly about them, as one would expect since we're finally moving away from hymnals and sacrifice manuals. You'll enjoy listening to music, viewing fine art, and perhaps trying on high-heeled shoes!

If you don't particularly like your name, you may appreciate the naming practices you'll experience back in this era. You may also wish to study a fascinating new profession -- you would have a wide choice, including apprentice to become a matcher of jewelry and a renovator of old jewelry; a designer of different kinds of beds for different seasons; a specialist in dictionaries and encyclopediae; or a player with balls and dolls for the amusement of children!

Important customs you'll learn include many points of etiquette and a belief in vegetarianism. Brace yourself for purple and green beards! And check out how long it took to name some babies.

Features include The South Asian Times featuring 3 very famous rulers; and 7 editions of The Time Traveler's Daily News. The chapter also includes a menu from the grand opening of a diner branch of The Time Traveler's Café; the catalogs of 4 branches of The Time Traveler's Library; and a discussion of home design implications of secluding females. There is also a bonus time-traveling excursion. You'll also enjoy a short spy story! featuring a gentleman judge.

85 pages.
Rated PG-13 for mentions of sexual and scatalogical abuse, infanticide, cannibalism, murder, and other horrors.

Chapter 7: Background, 180 BCE-300 CE

In this era, for the first time we can somewhat clearly see many South Asian lifestyles, with blissfully fewer just-guesses about many details. As a result, this volume takes a very different approach from that of the other two volumes of this sourcebook: I have arranged it by some general lifestyle types, though of course point out regional and chronological differences within those. These types are to do with both profession and socio-economic position, in an order that I hope will help time travelers picture life in this area as quickly as possible, with the most basic aspects earlier and more specific facts later.

 4 text pages plus preliminary section pages. 
Rated G.

Chapter 8: Actual Homes, 180 BCE-300 CE

You'll find all the archaeological remains of houses from this era in this the second chapter of Volume II, so you can immediately start picturing life as accurately as possible. Though aiming at strict accuracy, as usual we'll have the highly imaginative approach of you as a time traveler browsing a newspaper to decide on your next stop. You'll be able to see buildings of up to 26 rooms and buildings with verandahs and pillared halls and courtyards, and a possible palace or two, situated in thriving settlements. You'll even have frequent access to bathing and toilet rooms! Along the way you'll get glimpses of artwork, clothing, games, and other fun you'll explore more in upcoming chapters.

 Features include 7 editions of The Time Traveler's Daily News, with visits to 78 settlements; and 16 illustrations.  

32 pages. 
Rated PG for the very brief mention of human sacrifices and of lovemaking.

Chapter 9, Literary Background, 180 BCE-300 CE

With this time period we step into large libraries that present us with a beautifully clear picture of South Asian life. Well, clear compared with only having works focusing on a religious lifestyle. Now we have real literature, including volumes of beautiful poetry, interesting storybooks, and even comical play scripts; it's not just semi-, let alone very, depressing religious instructions and hymns anymore. You'll even see splendid descriptions of ancient "cities" that will make them "come alive" for you – again, comparatively.

Linguists will enjoy seeing the language changes in this era, and curriculum coordinators for time travelers' language schools will find this chapter important.

Whatever your speciality or interest, this chapter's introduction of this time's rich resources will excite you about the fascinating stories to come.

Features include "card catalogs" of 7 Time Traveler's Libraries, with a total of over 60 new holdings.

 13 pages. 
Rated G.

Chapter 10: Courteous Wealthy Men Enjoying Expensive Homes, 180 BCE-300 CE

Enjoy meeting building professionals and seeing the interesting homes they made for the wealthy in this time. Along the way, explore other aspects of being well-off then, but be forewarned it could be very rustic, though the people themselves seemed to be the most refined we have met so far in this series.

There is also satisfyingly specific information on salaries, purchases, and other expenses -- including plenty of taxes!

This chapter also includes a crucial discussion of the recognition of individuality and the importance of happiness to some of this era's writers.

Features include a chart on the economy and our first casting call for this volume's playscript.

33 pages.
Rated G.

Chapter 11: Poor People Dealing with Difficulties in Unpleasant Homes, 180 BCE-300 CE

This chapter is crucial for safe time travel in this era. Be especially forewarned against posing as a poor person! You could suffer many hardships including starvation, though this chapter offers useful tips on dealing with some common calamities.

If you must be a poor person in your undercover role, however, take heart -- not all your experiences will be awful. You'll learn in this chapter of the most promising areas for pleasant though very inexpensive homes, plus you'll get ideas for free entertainments.

Features the casting call for the female lead of the play found later in this volume.

 9 pages. 
Rated G.

Chapters 12 & 13 & 14: Artistic Life: Artwork and Furnishings, 180 BCE-300 CE

Time travelers can visit art galleries in this era in South Asia! This section of 3 chapters covers aspects of lifestyle to do with visual art and design, including actual artworks and home furnishings. Chapter 12 features interesting details about many types of furniture. Chapter 13 fills you in on the fine arts in this time and place and also pictures the lifestyle and social standing of a "fine" artist and discusses the aesthetics of the time. Chapter 14 focuses on textile design and ideas for a pleasant undercover profession for some time travelers.

Note that as with most chapters in this work, earlier information is not repeated, so it's recommended you read the volumes and their chapters in order.

Features include an illustration and 2 casting calls for supporting actresses.

 18 pages. 
Rated G.

Chapters 15 & 16 & 17: How People Cared for and Dressed Themselves, 180 BCE-300 CE

Time travelers will find this fascinating section of great help in getting dressed for this era in the latest clothing and jewelry designs, and will also acquire the best information on how people in this time took care of themselves and their property, often with the help of others. Everyone will enjoy the beautiful clothing portrayed in Chapter 15 and the elaborate jewelry in Chapter 16. Chapter 17 gives insights into life as a servant including their many jobs, and has handy tips for undercover professions to avoid -- including slave. It also has informative ancient ideas on bathing, makeup, and similar self-care.

 Features include a fashion show put on by the Time Travelers' Association, 7 illustrations, a jewelry exhibit, a Sanskrit "lesson," and casting calls for 2 supporting actors and 2 supporting actresses for the play in this Volume II.  

26 total text pages. 
Rated PG for mention of vague partial nudity, a mild drug, and scatological grossness.

Chapters 18 & 19: Urban and Village Lifestyles, 180 BCE to 300 CE

Time travelers will have access to well-designed inns in this era! and in this section will find designs for these and other public buildings. Chapter 18 focuses on the lifestyles of farmers in South Asian villages and Chapter 19 on the lifestyles of different royals in cities. Interesting discussions include family size, population density, royal wardrobes, piracy, farming equipment, the life of a princess, various palace designs, city planning, and royal staff. There are also handy tips on how to escape if you're kidnapped or similar, and warnings about other dangers in public areas.

 Features include 2 casting calls for supporting actors in the play at the end of this Volume II and a fascinating chart comparing different recommended royal schedules.  

30 pages. 
Rated PG for the brief mention of making babies.

Chapter 20, Trade & Travel, 180 BCE to 300 CE

This chapter is this era's time traveler's one-stop answer to Where did people get their stuff? Well, from traders, of course. See what it was like in this era to shop and what life was like for shopkeepers and other traders.

Many traders had to travel to find exciting, expensive products for their customers. Time travelers will get important tips from traders' experiences on the dangers of travel in those days. You'll want to get your travel documents in order; at least traveling traders ended up with three types of government documents: a trader identification pass; stamps or seals on packages for trade; and a general passport.

Features include a Sanskrit "lesson" and a casting call for a supporting actor in the play at the end of this Volume II.  

11 text pages. 
Rated G.

Chapter 21: Food & Hospitality, 180 BCE to 300 CE

Discover new foods and even their prices and some recipes from this era! If you like sweet foods you'll especially enjoy this time, and you'll even have access to ancient restaurants. Interesting discussions include how much people ate and how food of this era compares to today's South Asian cuisines. You'll also learn food taboos and how food was obtained, preserved, and otherwise prepped. Complicated etiquette for serving food and for hospitality in general are also explained.

Features include 4 menus from branches of The Time Traveler's Café.  

35 text pages. 
Rated PG for the mention of ritual cannibalism.

Chapters 22 & 23: Intellectual Life: Knowledge & Academic Lifestyles of 180 BCE to 300 CE

Meet some of the smartest South Asians of this era in this section; even more was known than you might expect. There is even a whole chapter in one of this era's "library holdings" on "measuring space and time" that time travelers will find particularly interesting. Educators will find the educational syllabi interesting. The specialized knowledge of a scribe is covered in Chapter 23 along with fascinating facts about communication. If you're into calligraphy, you may especially enjoy visiting; here you'll learn of the many scripts in this era and the materials on which they were written -- including books!

 Features include 1 illustration.  
14 pages. 
Rated PG for the very brief mention of lovemaking in Chapter 23.

Chapters 24 & 25 & 26: More Private Aspects of Social Life in 180 BCE to 300 CE

This is the first portion of this volume on how people were treated in this era, and focuses on somewhat more private issues. Chapter 24 tackles the horror stories of how women were treated -- once again this is an era to which female time travelers are counseled not to travel alone. Inheritance laws are also described. Chapter 25 deals with romance, marriage, and divorce practices, including horrifying forced incest and child marriage. Interesting wedding customs are also described, however, but along with updated polygyny practices. Chapter 26 focuses on children and on family practices in general -- with a reminder from the Time Travelers' Association of its strict policy against allowing children to time travel in this era without armed adult supervision. However, people were also told in this era to take good care of pregnant women and infants and even to choose children's toys carefully.

 Features include a discussion of the implications of joint families for home design; and 5 casting calls: for 2 supporting actresses, 1 supporting actor, and 1 major actor and 1 major actress.  

25 pages. 
Rated PG-13 for the mention of cannibalism, incest, rape, and other horrors to do with children and women.

Chapters 27 & 28 & 29 & 30: More Public Aspects of Social Life in 180 BCE to 300 CE

Welcome to the last part on social life in this era, this one focusing on more obvious public social divisions. Chapter 27 covers castes and other social rankings and how those affected lifestyles. Chapter 28 describes religions' prescribed lifestyles though also goes into detail on the surprising cynicism of some writers. Chapter 29 is on this area's outsiders such as aboriginal peoples and foreigners. Lastly, chapter 30 features non-human animals including their cuisine and home design if domesticated.

 Features include 3 casting calls for supporting actors and 1 for a supporting actress.

 27 pages. 
Rated PG-13 for the mention of suicide, rape, bestiality, and human sacrifice.

Chapters 31 & 32 & 33 & 34: Working Life: Various Professions, 180 BCE to 300 CE

Time travelers will get ideas for undercover professions in this section, including medical doctor, courtier, judge, soldier – or undercover undercover spy! Along the way you'll learn about expected lifespans, hospital design, funeral practices, military cantonment design, and spy communication techniques. You'll read about warfare, crime, and punishment. You'll also get interesting tips on seasonal lifestyles and cuisines; recipes for tonics; and, surprise, cigars! You'll also discover a "Trojan elephant"!

Features include a Sanskrit "lesson," 1 illustration, and 3 casting calls: 1 for a non-speaking male part, 1 speaking, and a more detailed casting call for the hero of the play at the end of this Volume II. There's also a handy chart on how to tell if someone likes you!  

32 text pages. 
Rated G.

Chapters 35 & 36 & 37 & 38: Entertainment, 180 BCE to 300 CE

Welcome to the entertment section of this Volume II. We start with a look at the many shows, events, excursions, parties, and theatre in this era. Chapter 36 presents the music of this time, including concerts and many instruments. Chapter 37 explains "Indian geisha girls" and discusses different beliefs on lesbianism in that time. Chapter 38 features sports for time-traveling sports fans.

Features include a special Entertainment section of The Time Traveler's Daily News; a time-traveling excursion on Indian classical music styles; and 4 casting calls for the play at the end of this Volume II: for a stage manager with a speaking part, 1 for a non-speaking female part, and 2 more detailed casting calls, for both a major supporting actor and actress.

 10 text pages. 
Rated G except for Chapter 37 on courtesans and other sexual activities, which is rated PG-13 for its lightly-done subject matter.

Chapter 41: Guptas & Other Stories of Continental India, 300-500 CE

Welcome to South Asia, circa 300-500 CE, and to our third and final volume. As usual I'll be your main time-traveling guide from this end of the timeline, though as usual you'll have a chance to visit "historical" cafés, read the "official" newspapers, etc. I've been traveling in this era and these areas for many years; it includes some of the most famous history and literature in all of South Asia, and it's what I encountered first in my non-chronological time-traveling (which I don't recommend, by the way).

This era includes the famous Gupta rulers. This chapter gives an introductory look at Indian lifestyles in this time, including eating customs, taxes, education, and clothing. There is an interesting discussion of expected lifespans in this era.

Features include The South Asian Times' Omniscient International Edition for this era, a glance at the worldwide context, the catalog of an Indian branch of The Time Traveler's Library, 2 Sanskrit lessons, 1 illustration, and the first installment of a long continuing story focusing on a family as they travel through specific geographical areas.

17 text pages.
Rated PG for the mention of rape.

Chapter 42: Buddhists & Sophisticated Urbanites in Northern South Asia, 300-500 CE

This chapter focuses on various parts of northern South Asia in this era. You time travelers will visit Taxila at last, as well as other fascinating settlements. You'll even have a few "palace tours"! Ancient medical "information" is also offered, including handy brain elixirs. Food prep and kitchen design ideas are also included.

There's cool advice about bad habits: you can always change them, but it's recommended you do that gradually, at most a quarter at a time, replacing each at the same time with a good habit. There are also interesting mysteries and legends -- including genii and dragons and -- Mexico!!

Features include 3 editions of The Time Traveler's Daily News, with visits to 22 sites; 20 illustrations; the card catalogs of 2 branches of The Time Traveler's Library; 2 Sanskrit lessons; and the second, North South Asian installment of our serial story.

26 pages.
Rated PG for the mention of pornography and human sacrifice.

Chapter 44: Mud & Mansions in Central India, 300-500 CE

Welcome to an area with many lifestyle details including styles of entertainment, communication, taxes, education, toys, and etiquette. Take palace? tours and check out some extremely famous but also extremely horrible plays. Enjoy learning interesting aspects of live theatre in these days and area, and get some tips on sleeping comfortably in hot weather. Check out many home details and get tips for time-traveling wardrobes and self-care.

Features include an edition of The Time Traveler's Daily News, with visits to 7 sites, plus a special Marketplace supplement; a card catalog of a Time Travelers' Specialist Branch Library with 9 holdings; 8 illustrations; a menu of a branch of The Time Traveler's Café; and the next installment of our serial story.

38 pages.
Rated PG-13 for the mention of rape, incest, peeping toms, and other horrors.

Chapter 45: Lives of Pleasure & Pain in Southern India, 300-500 CE

Meet literate people and visit literary homes and settlements in this area. You'll even encounter professional architects. You may also encounter quarrelsome and other unpleasant people, though, and outright dangerous situations, all of which this chapter will help you avoid. Other tips include what entertainment was available and the economic setup, including shops and how people carried their cash -- and how some people robbed homes!

Features include a card catalog of a Time Travelers' Specialist Branch Library with 8 holdings including our first in Kannada; a menu from a branch of The Time Traveler's Café including 4 prix fixe options; and the next installment of our serial story.

19 pages.
Rated PG for the mention of drugs and of prostitution.

Chapter 46: Sermons and Other Violence in Sri Lanka, 300-500 CE

Come take a very long and different time travel journey, to Sri Lanka in 300-500 CE. You'll even meet darling fairies! and other folk creatures, and even a Rapunzel of sorts. You'll learn about this area's communication, education, shopping options, medical care, town design, family size and population density, the economy, and government including a complex legal system. You'll sample some of the many types of entertainment on offer and go to a fashion show. You'll visit very seasonal homes and other interesting domestic setups, including residential tunnels! and furniture and kitchen design. You'll even see seasonal settlements and some with cabs available! You'll also get tips on traveling, especially when it's very hot, and learn what to expect in hospitality. You'll discover many possible undercover professions for time travelers, along with their wages. There are many (horrifying) ideas on how to treat people. There are very interesting cooking tips, including recipes! and tableware. You'll even see pet food options!

Features include a card catalog of a Time Travelers' Specialist Branch Library; a Time Traveler's Daily News Marketplace Supplement; a fashion show; the Sri Lankan Time Traveler's Spa list of treatments; the menu of a branch of The Time Traveler's Café including 6 prix fixe options, plus 8 recipes; and the last pre-epilogue installment of our serial story.

116 pages.
Rated PG-13 for the mention in passing of cannibalism, human sacrifice, rape, murder, prostitution, incest, beatings, abuse of animals, and many other horrors.

Chapter 47: Epic Stories from Northern India, 300-500 CE

Visit the very famous Indian epics at last, in the time at which they were finalized so as to prevent anachronisms which can be so dangerous to time travelers. Go walking, riding, and boating through the northern Indian settlements of the epics -- but watch out for epic battles! Check out the economy, South Asian voodoo dolls, food shops, South Asian ents!, a very wide variety of entertainment options, and beliefs on individuality and happiness and beauty. See hilarious scenes and fascinating buildings with their furnishings and other décor. Get lots of insight into epic lifestyles including how a time traveler can take care of herself including her wardrobe and cleaning up, and what hospitality and food to expect. Get tips on if you're kidnapped and avoiding danger if you are female. Brace for depression over how people were treated, as usual, though you'll enjoy a balanced discussion of forgiveness.

The chapter ends with a very quick summarizing tour of South Asia, with an interesting comparison of how these epics that evolved over centuries are not too badly reflected in the archaeology of this era.

Features include the card catalog of a Time Travelers' Specialist Branch Library; 7 little Sanskrit lessons; an epic edition of the Time Traveler's Daily News featuring homes; a Time Traveler's Daily News Epic Marketplace Advertising Supplement; a chart about the palaces of the gods; a Time Traveler's Daily News Marketplace Supplement; a Time Traveler's Daily News Epic Entertainment Supplement; a fashion show; the menu of The Epic Northern Indian Time Traveler's Café including 3 prix fixe menus; and the last installment of our serial story.

59 pages.
Rated PG-13 including for the mention in passing of human sacrifice, rape, infanticide, prostitution, pornography, and cannibalism.

Chapter 48: High Design in the Midst of High Unrest, 500-700 CE

At least armchair time travelers seem to feel somewhat comfortable in this our last era. My theory to explain this relative comfort is that this is not only the latest of our eras but its libraries include a couple of South Asia's most famous ancient travelers plus great detail from local writers about how people designed their homes and lives in general. You'll see how some people communicated, studied science and many other topics, traveled, measured, ate, cared for themselves, wrote, shopped, were entertained, and how they dressed -- and how they organized their wardrobes. You'll find very detailed descriptions of buildings and their components, including a fascinating library pavilion, an "Assembly Hall of a Thousand Columns," a huge palace complex, latticed windows, and moveable "staircases." There are tips from ancients on making your home lucky and how to furnish it in general. You'll even get interesting gift suggestions and helps for the ill. You'll enjoy talking animals, fairies, and dragons! There is an intriguing discussion of how reality may have mirrored an important treatise on building design -- but how very different South Asia was even in this our last era from today's same area.

Features include the The South Asian Times' Omniscient International Edition for this era; a glance at the worldwide context including King Arthur!; 5 card catalogs of specialist Time Traveler's Libraries with a total of 33 new holdings; 3 little Sanskrit lessons; a tour of Indian literary settlements; a lecture on building technologies; 2 illustrations; 5 editions of The Time Traveler's Daily News' Real Estate Section; the menu of a branch of The Time Traveler's Café; and a mystery story!

70 text pages.
Rated PG-13 including for the mention in passing of bestiality, prostitution, erotica, human sacrifice, rape, child molestation, and cannibalism.

Favorited Quotes from Lifestyles in Early South Asia

"Towns and cities" were conspicuous for their theatrical actors, free thinkers, and con men (so what's new?). - Chapter 5
As in the past, it was considered fine to steal from people who did not practice the Brahmanical religion, as long as it was for a ritual or for great hunger or to throw a wedding. ("Wow! Great wedding!" "Yeah, the rich heathens next door paid for it.") - Chapter 6
Avimaraka is an actual fairy tale cum romance including royal personages, of course fairies, and a magic ring that makes the wearer invisible. - Chapter 9
Even Buddhist monks in Sri Lanka were expected to have adequate self-care, and even have attendants to help them; this was said to assist in meditation (I'd like some assistance in meditation, please). - Chapter 17
I can imagine most housewives would be horrified to find a human head salesman standing on her doorstep. "Hello, doll, in the market for a head today? No? Sure? Well, I'll just be pushing on, then." - Chapter 5
I would have been a disastrous early human. - Chapter 1
It was believed by some Brahmins at least in Flat Northern India that doing a ritual wrong could…shorten your life, ruin your marriage, and possibly stop time (oops! sorry, folks! talk about messing up the timeline!). - Chapter 5
It was taught that one should not get attached (as in emotionally) to seats. - Chapter 12
Most of us wouldn't mind Elizabeth's asking us casually, "Would you be a dear and look in on Windsor while I'm away?" - Chapter 5
Of course, I couldn't expect a complete picture; how many magical formulae do you know of that say things like "Praise gods, from whom all couches come"? - Chapter 4
One writer recommended that servants be paid in "spoiled liquor" (gee, thanks, boss). - Chapter 17
One writer spoke with great disapproval of certain men "who falsely wear red dresses, earrings, and skulls" ("Heretic in Red"). - Chapter 5
Onesicritus the Greek reported that he and an Indian philosopher had to use a total of three translators every time they wanted to try to communicate in South Asia. Surely this multiplied the chance of a mistranslation. Perhaps this is one reason that they like most travelers probably misunderstood and overgeneralized, though they also give an invaluable look at society in larger settlements and outside religious groups. - Chapter 6
Optional northern Indian dowries included very expensive items like a cow to be given by a Brahmin, a horse by a Vaisya, and a village by a Ksatriya ("What did that guy give you for your wedding?" "Oh, a village"). - Chapter 27
Priests were told to be very careful in a certain ritual "lest he should bestow manhood on women" (oops!) and instead was to actively "unman" the sacrificer's wife. - Chapter 5
Someone was praised for offering to sacrifice not only himself but his mother, wife, brother, and friend. How generous of him. - Chapter 46
There is an hilarious rule that a host should not eat all the tasty food in the house "so that there is nothing left for his guests." - Chapter 6
There is an interesting remark that only a few people actually followed the most extreme social instructions found in certain religious writings. - Chapter 6
There is an interesting Sanskrit term meaning "working miracles for one's own amusement." I always do that. - Chapter 41
Until now, ancient South Asia has seemed preternaturally quiet with its silent ruins of homes and some tantalizingly short writings... - Chapter 4
Wearing jewelry and flowers and clean, especially white, clothes was highly recommended because they would work "against the influences of monsters." That's why I get dressed up. - Chapter 42
What strikes me most about Vedic society is that control was the writers' expected mode of dealing with others (after all, becoming a control freak is an occupational hazard for religious writers). - Chapter 4
You were strictly forbidden to eat "mermen." (Mermaids okay?) - Chapter 6

House Tour, c550 BCE

Take a tour of a 13-room house in Bhagwanpura, Haryana, around 550 BCE. It is arranged with a corridor down the center, with rooms on each side, leading to an open courtyard at one end of the house. You'll see tastefully furnished rooms through some open doors and in one room children playing with wheeled animals. In another room there will be someone demonstrating writing with a bone stylus. You'll be seated on wide seats and brought some water to drink. The glitterati will interest you with harrowing stories about past floods. You'll admire a woman's beautiful "sea blue" glass, black-glass, and copper bangles, and will be invited to a jewelry shopping party… (All included in Chapter 5!)

An Association of Time Travelers

German learning woes

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